Eight Characteristics of Strong
Healthy Families

1. COMMITMENT

2. APPRECIATION

    3. GOOD COMMUNICATION PATTERNS

    4. DESIRE TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER

    5. STRONG VALUE SYSTEM

    6. ABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS AND CRISES IN A
    POSITIVE MANNER

    7. RESILIENCE

    8. SELF-EFFICACY
                         PARENTING STYLES

Diana Baumrind theorized that there are three basic styles of child rearing: Authoritarian, Authoritative, and Permissive. The styles, described below,
influence children in different ways. Contemporary child rearing strategies described in the text may be used by parents who take an authoritative
(style 3) approach to child rearing.
In the Berk (5th edition) text, there are four basic styles listed, adding Uninvolved.

AUTHORITARIAN:
*parents require absolute obedience;
*maintenance of control is very important;
*physical force may be used to ensure obedience;
*more working class families than middle class families;
*children tend to be less cheerful, more moody, passively hostile, and vulnerable to stress;
*"Because I said so."

The authoritarian parent's goal is to shape, control, and evaluate the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set of standards of conduct, usually an absolute
standard, theologically motivated and formulated by a higher authority. The parent values obedience as a virtue and favors punitive, forceful measures to curb self-will at points
where the child's actions or beliefs conflict with the parent's. The parent believes in inculcating such instrumental values as respect for authority, respect for work, and respect
for the preservation of order and traditional structure. S/He does not encourage verbal give and take, believing that the child should accept his/her word for what is right.

CHILD QUALITIES:
~anxious, withdrawn, and unhappy disposition;
~poor reactions to frustration (girls are particularly likely to give up and boys become especially hostile);
~do well in school;
~not likely to engage in antisocial activities such as drug and alcohol abuse, vandalism, gangs.

****AUTHORITARIAN PARENTS ARE CONTROLLING, PUNITIVE, RIGID, AND COLD, AND THEIR WORD IS LAW. THEY VALUE STRICT, UNQUESTIONING
OBEDIENCE FROM THEIR CHILDREN AND DO NOT TOLERATE EXPRESSIONS OF DISAGREEMENT.****
PERMISSIVE:

*Child's freedom of expression and autonomy are valued;
*Parents rely on reasoning and justification, but may resort to manipulation and justification;
*Child is free from external restraints: freedom is not authentic;
*More middle class families than working class;
*Children tend to be generally cheerful, with lower levels of self-reliance and self-control;
*"Do what we tell you to do because you want to do it."

Permissive parents behave in an acceptant and affirmative manner towards the child's impulses, desires, and actions. The parent consults with the child about policy
decisions and gives explanations for family rules. S/He makes few demands for household responsibility and orderly behavior. S/He presents him/herself to the child as a
resource for the child to use as needed, not as an agent responsible for shaping or altering ongoing behavior. S/He allows the child to regulate his own activities as much as
possible, avoids the exercise of control, and does not encourage him to obey externally defined standards. S/He attempts to use reason but not overt power to accomplish
goals.

CHILD QUALITIES:
~Poor emotional regulation (under regulated);
~rebellious and defiant when desires are challenged;
~low persistence to challenging tasks;
~antisocial behaviors.

****PERMISSIVE PARENTS  PROVIDE LAX AND INCONSISTENT FEEDBACK AND REQUIRE LITTLE OF THEIR CHILDREN. PERMISSIVE/INDIFFERENT
PARENTS ARE UNINVOLVED IN THEIR CHILD'S LIFE. PERMISSIVE/INDULGENT PARENTS ARE INVOLVED, BUT PLACE NO LIMITS OR BOUNDARIES ON
THE CHILD.****
AUTHORITATIVE:
*parents rely on positive reinforcement and infrequent use of punishment;
*awareness of the child's capabilities and feelings;
*higher levels of self-reliance and self-control, cheerfulness, and friendliness;
*children approach novel situations with curiosity and self-reliance;
*control is exercised in conjunction with support;
*parents encourage children's autonomy with reasonable limits and foster an atmosphere of give and take in parent-child communication.

Authoritative parents direct their child's activities but in a rational issue-oriented way. The parent encourages verbal give and take, and shares with the child the reasoning
behind the policy. The parent values both expressive and instrumental attributes, both autonomous self-will and disciplined conformity. Therefore the parents exerts firm control
at points of parent-child divergence. The parent recognizes his/her own special rights as an adult but also the child's individual interests and special ways. The authoritative
parent affirms the child's present qualities, but also sets standards for future conduct. S/He uses reasoning as well as power to achieve objectives. The parent does not base
decisions on group consensus or the individual child's desires; but also does not regard him/herself as infallible, or divinely inspired.

CHILD QUALITIES:
~lively and happy disposition;
~self-confident about ability to master tasks;
~well-developed emotional regulation;
~developed social skills;
~less rigid about gender-typed traits (for example, sensitivity in boys and independence in girls).

****AUTHORITATIVE PARENTS ARE FIRM, SETTING CLEAR AND CONSISTENT LIMITS, AND REASON WITH THE CHILD, GIVING EXPLANATIONS FOR THE
EXPECTED BEHAVIORS.****